60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards-WINNERS

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES presented by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Rainn Wilson, The Office
Winner: Jeremy Piven, Entourage (3rd consecutive win. Slams opening for sucking. Crowd applauds)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES presented by Julia Louis Dr--Elaine on Seinfeld
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
Winner: Jean Smart, Samantha Who? (3rd Emmy win for her)

Tone reminder from Heidi Klum: still awkward
Tone level upgraded by Cast of Desperate Housewives

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES presented by a bunch of women on the brink of killing each other
Ted Danson, Damages
Michael Emerson, Lost
William Shatner, Boston Legal
John Slattery, Mad Men
Winner: Zeljko Ivanek, Damages (First emmy win and nomination)

Ricky Gervais gives tips on acceptance speeches and introduces a montage of celebs being fakely sincere and acting surprised.

Ricky appears to go along with Awkward theme, but turns it around to have mastered it.

DIRECTING FOR A VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY PROGRAM Presented by Ricky Gervais
Louis Horvitz for the Oscars Coincidentally, directing the Emmys

Flashback to the good ol' days of the Simpsons featuring Conan O'Brien

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES Presented by Conan O'Brien
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy
Winner: Dianne Wiest, In Treatment (Ditched the ceremony, what a bitch)

OUTSTANDING WRITING IN A MUSIC, COMEDY, OR VARIETY PROGRAM Presented by Jen.Luv.Hew. and Hay.Pan.
Daily Show team (presented as people from political conventions)
Late Night w/Conan team (presented as Conan and Angelina's many children)
David Letterman team (presented as diagnosed people by Dr Phil)
SNL team (presented as Wii characters)
Winner Colbert Report team (Presented as if at christmas special) (First win)

Just when things get entertaining, Howie Mandell and Jeff Probst return to the stage. Mandell immediately kisses Steve Martin's ass.

Steve Martin presents an award to a dude he used to work with because he wasn't properly recognized before BECAUSE he didn't want his name on the Emmy thing. So I don't know whats up with all this shit right hurr. Emmy people were in hopes he would be funny. Instead he was political and a downer.

Josh Groban sings a bunch of theme songs.
Animal from the muppets (a poor version) is abducted by aliens.
Josh Groban does South Park impressions
Josh Groban sings Baywatch theme, much to iperoyale's excitement
Josh Groban sings Fresh Prince theme
Josh Gro---oh what the hell, just look for it on youtube later

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR A MOVIE Presented by Alec Baldwin
Judi Dench, Cranford
Catherine Keener, An American Crime
Phylicia Rashad, A Raisin in the Sun
Susan Sarandon, Bernard And Doris
Winner: Laura Linney, John Adams (Third emmy win and nomination)

Awkwardness returns as the Americas Funniest Home Video dude stumbles on stage, introducing a montage of celebrities saying "sock it to me" in tribute to Laugh In.
They take the stage, or rather, the wall with some dated humor. Just a small reminder that the people in charge of TV are out of touch. All our parents laugh, the generation gap widens.

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SERIES produced by reanimated corpses
The Colbert Report
Late Show With David Letterman
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
Winner: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES Presented by Lauren Conrad from The Hills and David from "The Bones" (as Heidi put it)
Will Arnett, 30 Rock
Shelley Berman, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Steve Buscemi, 30 Rock
Rip Torn, 30 Rock
Winner: Tim Conway, 30 Rock (Didn't show up. But its all good)

GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES Presented by that chick and that dude
Polly Bergen, Desperate Housewives
Edie Falco, 30 Rock
Carrie Fisher, 30 Rock
Sarah Silverman, Monk
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock
Winner: Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives

DIRECTING IN A COMEDY SERIES Presented by Kathryn Joosten
Barry Sonnenfeld for Pushing Daisies Makes a poop joke, most don't get it

WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES Presented by David and some cell phones
Winner: Tina Fey (3rd Emmy win. She sat by Alec Baldwin. J-e-a-l-o-u-s)

AFHV guy talks about a show "going into the oval office." My mind turns to "Thats my Bush." I am disappointed when West Wing appears. Martin Sheen talks about Presidential stuff on TV, no clips. Then he says to vote for your candidate "at least once." Hinting at the hidden practice of celebrities ability to vote as many times as they want depending on how much they whine about shit.

Christian Slater declares Christina Applegate the MOST BEAUTIFUL and MOST TALENTED person on tv (not a direct quote, but its what the quote implied. exaggeration is fun)

MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE
Bernard and Doris
Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale
The Memory Keeper’s Daughter
A Raisin In The Sun
Winner: Recount (Diddy is denied his chance at an Emmy. Crosses fingers in hopes for chacnes with with "Making the Band 4")

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE presented by William Petersen and Laurence Fishburne
Bob Balaban, Recount
Stephen Dillane, John Adams
Denis Leary, Recount
David Morse, John Adams
Winner: Tom Wilkinson, John Adams (Sucka didn't show)

AFTV and Seacrest introduce Stewart and Colbert. A light appears at the end of a tunnel.
Light not as bright as I hoped it would be.

OUTSTANDING DIRECTING FOR A MINISERIES Presented by Stewart/Colbert
Winner: Jay Roach for Recount. His second win tonight.

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A MINISERIES Presented by Colbert/Stewart
Winner: Kirk Ellis for John Adams (First win. Ricky Gervais sheds single tear)

Kirk Ellis begins talking about using complete sentences, is unable to heed own advice when Emmy producers cut him off mid-sentence.

Howie Mandell introduces the M*A*S*H set, reintroducing us to the generation gap.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE presented by Sandra Oh! and Patrick Dempsey
Laura Dern, Recount
Ashley Jensen, Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale
Audra McDonald, A Raisin in the Sun
Alfre Woodard, Pictures Of Hollis Woods
Winner: Eileen Atkins, Cranford (Did not show up. Is apparently a Dame so its ok)

Kathy Griffin points at Don Rickles and commands audience to stand. Audience, in fear of her gay army, jumps to feet.
Don Rickles is funny. Teleprompters are not. Neither are political jokes
Don Rickles continues being funny, my TV blacks in and out.

REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM Presented by Kathy and Mr. Rickles
American Idol
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
Top Chef
Winner: The Amazing Race For the 60th time. Or sixth. Either way, no one else has ever won in this catagory.

MINISERIES presented by Sally Jessie Ra--. Sally Field.
The Andromeda Strain
Cranford
Tin Man
Winner: John Adams. Because old people like watching things that happened even BEFORE they were born.

Sally Field and Tom Hanks make a reference to Forrest Gump.

The lesser HSM characters appear in a Bread commercial. sux2bu corbin.
Corbin Bleu acts super excited for white bread. I thought we had come so far...

AFHV guy drops Heidi.

NPH calls out Howie Mandel's "pratteling" as the reason their bit is cut.

INDIVIDUAL PERFORMANCE FOR A VARIETY OR MUSICAL PROGRAM presented by Kristen and NPH
Some people including Colbert and Stewart
Winner: Don Rickles for Mr. Warmth. Hilarity ensues and an honestly touching speech is given.

GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES presented by Kate Walsh and Wayne Brady
Charles Durning, Rescue Me
Robert Morse, Mad Men
Oliver Platt, Nip/Tuck
Stanley Tucci, ER
Robin Williams, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Winner: Glynn Turman, In Treatment

GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES presented by Kate and Wayne too
Ellen Burstyn, Big Love
Diahann Carroll, Grey's Anatomy
Sharon Gless, Nip/Tuck
Anjelica Huston, Medium
Winner: Cynthia Nixon, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

THOSE winners present the award for Outstanding (this word is overused on this show) directing in a drama series:
A fellow named Greg wins for directing House. Fangirls will get this connection.

Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series Presented by Kate and Wayne TOO
Winner: Matthew Weiner (lol weiner) for Mad Men.

Soda supplies depleted in my house. Terror strikes.

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR A MOVIE presented by Glenn Close.
Ralph Fiennes, Bernard And Doris
Ricky Gervais, Extras
Paul Giamatti, John Adams
Kevin Spacey, Recount
Tom Wilkinson, Recount
Winner: Paul Giamatti, John Adams. Ricky Gervaise grinds his nasty little teeth.

ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES presented by Murphy Brown
Steve Carell, The Office
Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Winner: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock (First win, 7th nomination for Alec. I giggle gleefully)

Things are getting tight, due to fucking Howie Mandel. I hope he has to touch a bunch of people.

ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES presented by Vanessa Williams and America Ferrera
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Winner: Glenn Close, Damages

---NEW POST MADE---

"Those We Lost" montage is on. Everyone is bummed. People in the post bitch about Heath Ledger not being mentioned, forgetting the fact that the Emmys is about television stars.

ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES presented by Keifer Sutherland
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
James Spader, Boston Legal
Winner: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad. Shakes Dexter's hand. Dexter plots revenge.

Brooke Shields and Craig Ferguson return things to awkwardness when faking hitting on someone gets dangerously close to actual hitting on. Ferguson looks freaking drunk

ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Winner: Tina Fey, 30 Rock.

A tiny troll climbs on the stage to present the award that ABC did not realize no one cares about.
Before the winners are announced, I say a small prayer Howie does not win because he will talk for the last 15 minutes of the show.

HOST FOR A REALITY OR REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM presented by a tiny troll
Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars
Heidi Klum, Project Runway
Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
Jeff Probst, Survivor

The parody of reality program tactics goes too far when one is used. The art of specially timed commercial breaks pisses off the country.

Probst wins. Refuses to wear tie.

Mary Tyler Moore shows up lookin fierce. Well...actually anorexic. I am the first to declare Mary Tyler Moore has an eating disorder.

COMEDY SERIES presented by Betty Whit and Skeltor Moore
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men
Winner: 30 Rock. Tina Fey pulls speech out of boobs. Kenneth turns bright red and is grinning like crazy. He is who(m?) I want to be. Fey begs people to watch the show.

DRAMA SERIES presented by Tom Sellek's Moustache
Boston Legal
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Winner: Mad Men. Curvy ladies make their way to the stage looking fierce as hell.